Everywhere, USA--After the Democrats suffered historic defeats at the polls last November, Santa Claus announced all Americans would be getting "the gift of precious coal" as it became clear plans for draconian energy taxes would be scrapped.Back in 2008, then-candidate for Presient Barack Obama said of his energy policies: "If somebody wants to build a coal-powered plant, they can; it's just that it will bankrupt them because they're going to be charged a huge sum for all that greenhouse gas that's being emitted."
"But coal provides usable energy at much less than a quarter of the cost of either oil or natural gas," said Santa, "and 50 percent of the energy produced in the United States comes from coal. I'm pleased to say that the American voters were very good this year because they rejected candidates who wanted to dramatically increase their energy costs in return for relatively few demonstrable benefits."
