Op-Toons

James Madison Monsters of Liberty Tour T-Shirt Design (front and back)

2011-09-05T16:45:00.002-04:00

Obama Announces Plan to Guarantee All Americans "A Place to Put Your Head in the Sand"

2011-04-13T23:35:00.021-04:00

Washington, D.C.--After proposing a $3.73 trillion budget that increases spending amid a record $1.65 trillion federal deficit, President Obama announced his plan to address the nation's unprecedented fiscal crisis by funding an "historic" $1.2 trillion federal public works project that will guarantee that "all citizens have a place to put their head in the sand."

"I play a lot of golf," said Obama, "but it's not just guys like me who should be able to bury their heads from reality in the bunker on the 18th hole. It's time head burying became an entitlement for all Americans."

Associated articles: Wall Street Journal; Washington Post; Keith Hennessey; Wall Street Journal 1; The Hill; Brief History of Obama's Fiscal Record; Mercatus; Hot Air; Wall Street Journal 2; Daily Caller; Mercatus 1 (Debt Ceiling Chart); AP Fact Check; Robert Kimball Table; AP Fact Check 1; Big Government; Wall Street Journal 3; AEI chart; The Hill (CBO projections)

Obama Orders Air Strike on His Old War Powers Statements

2011-03-29T07:00:00.005-04:00

Washington, D.C.--Following his ordering a U.S. military attack on Libya without Congressional approval, President Obama ordered an air strike on the National Archives to destroy large numbers of his 2007 campaign statements in which he said "The president does not have the power under the Constitution to unilaterally authorize a military attack in a situation that does not involve stopping an actual or imminent threat to the nation" and "The Constitution is clear: Except in response to an attack or the imminent threat of attack, only Congress may authorize war and the use of force."

Obama ordered the air strike within minutes of hearing from his intelligence team that Vice President Biden said in 2007 that if a President "takes this nation to war ... without Congressional approval, I will make it my business to impeach him."

Associated articles: Washington Post; Hot Air; Associated Press; National Review; Washington Post 1

Obama Declines to Reveal Plot of His Presidency at News Conference

2011-02-11T00:10:00.001-05:00

Washington, D.C.--President Obama declined to answer most of the questions reporters asked him at his most recent press conference, saying "I owe it to my adoring fans not to reveal future plot details" about his presidency.

When asked how he might explain the dismal state of the economy following the biggest government spending spree in history, Obama said "I can't answer that because, you know, I can't reveal any spoilers."

When pressed, Obama said "This production is the result of many talented writers, and if you don't like the current plot twists, just wait until next year."

Administration officials said Obama has a "very loyal following" and that "it would be a disservice to the viewers to ruin any surprises."

Headlines

2011-02-09T00:10:00.000-05:00

Associated article: Daily Caller

Groupon to Sue On (click image to enlarge)

2011-02-08T00:10:00.000-05:00

Obama to Deliver Major Speech on White Guilt

2011-02-07T00:10:00.000-05:00

Columbus, Ohio--President Obama, now facing significant congressional opposition for the first time following Republican gains in the House of Representatives, is planning what aides are calling a "major speech" on white guilt.

"The President is going to remind many of his critics that they are white, and that lots of them voted for the President because he's black," said a White House spokesperson. "It's too easy to forget that in the midst of substantive discussions regarding fundamental policy decisions."

National Endowment for the Arts Funds Artists Whose Art is Convincing Other People That What They Do Is Art

2011-02-03T00:10:00.002-05:00

Washington, D.C.--The National Endowment for the Arts is highlighting its grants of federal taxpayer funds to artists whose only "art" is their ability to convince other people to think what they do is art.

"The work itself is crap, as most people who look at it will immediately realize," said one NEA commissioner. "But the true art in what these people do lies in the strategic schmoozing, the pretentious conversation, and the egomaniacal confidence it takes to convince fellow middle-aged-and-older hipsters on obscure government boards that the weird stuff you do to amuse yourself in an otherwise superficial life is such sheer genius that its magnificence would not be appropriately valued in a voluntary free market filled with common rubes like you."

Associated video: ReasonTV

Obama Paper Tiger Doll

2011-02-02T00:10:00.001-05:00

Associated articles: AEI; Wall Street Journal; Associated Press; Wall Street Journal 1; National Review

Obama's Latest Shared Facebook Photo

2011-02-01T00:10:00.001-05:00

Associated articles: Washington Post; Krauthammer

Authorities Nab Notorious Youth Soccer Gang After 3-0 Victory Leaves Seven with Hurt Feelings

2011-01-31T00:10:00.000-05:00

Associated article: Pajamas Media

Obama Inspires Nation to Find "Bold New Ways to Do the Math"

2011-01-27T00:10:00.003-05:00

Washington, D.C.--President Obama used his State of the Union Address to urge Congress to find "bold new ways to do the math" of balancing the federal budget, advocating spending even more taxpayer dollars on things like roads, cars, and high-speed rail lines while ignoring major spending cuts.

"Accountants tell us there are only two sides to a balance sheet," said Obama. "But we as a nation can do better. Much better."

The President took the opportunity to recognize several students in the audience who he said were examples of young pioneers "willing to think outside the pizza box" and find new ways to scatter numbers randomly around ledger sheets.

Associated article: Associated Press Fact Check

Jerry Brown Checks State of California Into Rehab

2011-01-25T00:10:00.000-05:00

Los Angeles, California--After being busted for racking up tens of billions of dollars in debt above the already-existing $500 billion in unfunded public pension liabilties held by the government, Governor Jerry Brown has checked the entire State of California into rehab.

Brown was caught in the state Capitol with a bevy of environmentalists, lawyers, and public sector unions.

"He thought the prospects were poor that a Republican-controlled U.S. House of Representatives would be willing to bail him and his state out," said a Brown spokesperson. "Voluntarily submitting to rehab was the only alternative."

Associated articles: San Francisco Chronicle; Wall Street Journal

Obama Resorts to Air Guitar

2011-01-20T00:10:00.000-05:00

Washington, D.C.--Having run out of options to reenergize his presidency, President Obama used a televised address last night to play air guitar.

White House advisers told the president he needed to simplify his message to a few wild windmill maneuvers and a rockin' heavy metal stance, which they hoped could better further his agenda than alternative communications strategies.

"We decided it was best to let Obama be Obama," said a White House spokesperson. "And that's just what happened last night: the president struck a phony pose, engaged in some theatrics, and pumped his arms in celebration."

TV Guide

2011-01-19T00:20:00.000-05:00

Associated article: ABC News

Local Man Picketed for Reading Newspaper Article on Unflattering Race Statistics

2011-01-19T00:10:00.000-05:00

Nortown, Illinois--Crowds of anti-racism protesters continued to gather outside the office of an area man who was spotted reading a newspaper article featuring unflattering racial statistics, including those showing that 72% of black babies are born to unmarried mothers, compared to 29% of whites, and that only 12% of black fourth-grade boys are proficient in reading and math, compared to 38% and 44% of white boys, respectively, even adjusting for poverty.

"It's an outrage that these statistics exist," said one protester, "and even more outrageous that someone would choose to read them."

Associated articles: Associated Press; New York Times

Headlines

2011-01-18T00:10:00.000-05:00

EPA Regulates Vegetarians as Their Methane Emissions Rival Those of Cows

2011-01-17T00:10:00.002-05:00

Washington, D.C.--The Environmental Protection Agency is predicting an increase in human vegetarian diets consisting of the same harder-to-digest vegetable matter that causes cows to emit large quantities of carbon dioxide and methane gas. Consequently, the EPA will begin regulating vegetarian emissions beginning next year as part of its efforts to combat global warming.

"Let me be clear," said President Obama, announcing the plan, "Vegetarians eat vegetable matter just like cows do, and the body's inability to fully digest the many complex carbohydrates in the vegetarian diet results in the excessive production of carbon dioxide and methane. Vegetarians also don't eat cows, whose similar diets produce the same gases. The result is a vicious circle in which vegetarians and cows contribute to ever greater global warming gas emissions."

Associated article: The Straight Dope

Latest Communications Rage "Twit" Limits Conversations to Four Characters or Less

2011-01-14T00:10:00.000-05:00

Democrats Demand Stronger Microphone Control Laws and Shorter Audio Feeds Following Shooting Tragedy

2011-01-13T00:10:00.001-05:00

Washington, D.C.--Following a tragic shooting committed by a lone deranged man whose motivation had no discernible political connection, Democrats in Congress moved to prevent "ideas from getting into the wrong hands" through stronger microphone control laws and limits on the size of television audio feeds.

"The constitutional right to bear speech has limits," said one proponent of the legislation. "Do you really need a microphone this large or an audio feed that holds more than a few minutes of sound data to shoot down a bad idea?"

Associated article: Charles Krauthammer

Authorities Uncover Supreme Court Fetish Club

2011-01-11T00:10:00.001-05:00

Washington, D.C.--Just days after the House of Representatives' first-ever public reading of the U.S. Constitution led detractors to say the event showed Republicans' reverence for the nation's founding document was a "fetish," those same detractors were found at the Supreme Court, on their knees, enjoying a domination routine run by the most left-wing Justices on the U.S. Supreme Court.

Authorities said they were called to the scene when passers-by heard cries of "Work your will on us, harder, harder!" as prominent advocates of the judiciary's governmental supremacy begged several of the unelected, lifetime-tenured Justices to impose their own policy preferences on them through a variety of sick and twisted distortions of the constitutional text.

Some of the participants defended their involvement in the Supreme Court fetish club, saying they were just trying to work out some "intimacy issues" with their democratic form of government.

Associated articles: National Review; Wall Street Journal; AOL

White House Spokesman Spins Out of Control, Lands in Press Pool, Injuring Seven

2011-01-06T00:10:00.001-05:00

Washington, D.C.--Obama Administration press secretary Robert Gibbs "spun totally out of control" earlier today, lofting into the air and flipping over several times before finally coming to a stop in the middle of the White House press pool.

Police described the scene as "like something out of an action-comedy film," as they surveyed the damage caused by Gibbs' absurd attempt to spin yet another failed Obama Administration policy.

"Journalists understand the need for press secretaries to spin events in favor of the administration they work for," said one reporter who was injured while standing next to the pool. "But there have to be some sort of standards that keep things from getting out of hand and hurting innocent people."

Congressman Introduces Bill Based on Posts in Comments Sections of Huffington Post Site

2011-01-04T00:10:00.000-05:00

Man in Obama T-Shirt Robs Bank Unnoticed

2011-01-03T00:10:00.003-05:00

New Rochelle, New York--Over a dozen bank customers watched nonchalantly as a teller handed over hundreds of thousands of dollars in cash to a man wearing an Obama t-shirt.

When asked why by local police, the teller said "It's gotten to the point where I didn't think anything of it. Of course someone associated with the Obama campaign is going to demand hundreds of thousands of dollars in other people's money."

The responses of other witnesses were much the same.

"With government takeovers of health care, home loans, banks, and energy," said one customer, "I just assumed along with everyone else that a guy with an Obama t-shirt wanted lots of taxpayer money, and they were going to do whatever it took to get it."

The man in the t-shirt was quickly apprehended, after which he told police "I didn't say anything to the teller. She just handed me the money and I took it."

"I'm used to the Obama shirt giving me a kind of moral authority like that," he said.

Associated articles: Washington Examiner; Wall Street Journal; Washington Post

Very Short Story: The Three "I's"

2011-01-01T12:00:00.002-05:00

The Three sat motionless, their black robes hanging straight down as if weighted at the seams, as rigid as the tunics on the marble statues that lined the dais.

They were sometimes compared to the Sun, around which everything moved in precisely predictable orbits. But after clerking for them, the Three seemed more than ever like a trio of black holes, toward which everything inevitably fell.

Nothing escaped the reach of their opinions. And so it was a citizen’s prime duty to understand them.

Long before the Three, judges had based their conclusions on general rules, couching them in the language of universal principles applied to the particular circumstances at hand.

The country was a bustling place then, where people interacted under a regime of mutual freedom. But that freedom led to many different kinds of legal proceedings.

And as the number of judicial decisions grew, the larger became the palate from which the Three could choose the colors with which to draw their decisions that would bind us all on their canvas. And so their decisions came to resemble portraits of themselves more closely than ever. The Three became the Law.

This was to the benefit of all, we were taught. No longer would citizens have to stake their liberty on predictions based on the application of abstract principle. Now they could focus their attention on adhering to the decisions of the Three alone.

The bailiff called the court to order.

Today’s trial began as usual. The claims were brought against the defendants under the Article of the three I’s, each “I” representing one of the Three and symbolizing their collective expression of societal will.

There were two defendants, both wearing the traditional white jumpsuits that symbolize their appearance as two blank slates on which the Three would write their will.

The Three recognized the Citers of Precedent, a corps of professionals dedicated to reminding each of the Three of their previous opinions. The Citers studied in grand universities, and were tasked with memorizing the Three’s written decisions and contributing toward the Great Academic Project: the synthesis of each of the Three’s opinions into a unified theory capable of predicting their future will, and thereby charting a path within which the citizenry could safely walk.

One of the Citers stated the facts of the case: the defendants considered themselves to be married, and bound by their own vows.

A collective gasp rippled like a gas leak through the spectator galleries.

The two people before the court, said the Citer, were found holding themselves out to their fellow citizens as being bound by their own commitments to each other, when the Precedents had long been understood to negate the practice. In the estimation of the Three, marriage was an archaic commitment to maintain rules that their own personal experience had revealed to be unwise over time.

“We shall consider the precedents,” said the three in unison, and they retired to their chambers.

We clerks gathered in the library to collect the precedents on which the Three’s decisions would be rendered.

The rows of precedent books wound their way through the library. The newer volumes, bound in moist shiny leather, gradually gave way to the much older tomes, whose dried covers had wilted whole pages of parched paper, littering the floor in forgotten corners of the building.

I walked over to return some of the fallen pages, and happened to glance at what they contained. I had apparently found some very early precedent that appeared to cite an Article that preceded the Article of the Three “I’s.”

It was the Article of the One “I.”

I brought the page back to my fellow clerks and asked them if we should include these older precedents in our recommendation to the Three, as it might nudge them into upholding the marriage of the committed couple whose fate the Three held in their hands.

Indeed, the old precedents I had found seemed to resonate with the married couples’ notion that they had built their own household on a foundation that only they could alter -- not the Three or anyone else. These precedents described how this Article of the One “I” was once part of a larger plan agreed to many years ago. Under this long-forgotten “Article I,” the laws would be made by those in a “House” composed of “Representatives” chosen by “the People.” The people in the House would agree on the laws, and those laws would bind everyone until the people in the House agreed to change them. Not the Three. The People.

My fellow clerks laughed. I chuckled, too, and returned the page to its long-forgotten tome.

Bad Nanny-State Ideas Traced to Ban on Incandescent Lightbulbs

2010-12-31T00:10:00.001-05:00

Associated articles: Wall Street Journal; Bloomberg

Early American Custody Agreement Puts Paternity of Founding Fathers in Doubt

2010-12-28T00:10:00.000-05:00

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania--A legal petition dated just after the ratification of the Constitution -- and signed by the nation's Founding Fathers who drafted the Supreme Law of the Land -- has placed into doubt the paternity of America's foundational law.

The document, found buried in the archives of a Philadelphia historical center, announce the intentions of the delegates to the Constitutional Convention that their status of "Founding Fathers" of the United States be severed in the event that "the plain meaning of the terms used in the Constitution become so perverted by the political manipulations of others, in ways not authorized by the Constitution, that our progeny is no longer recognizable as such."

Lawyers are currently debating whether recent court decisions regarding marriage, national security, and property rights violate the terms of the Founding Fathers' custody agreement, but the legal consensus is that "We may now need to name some Founding Stepfathers."

Contemporary Urban Graffiti

2010-12-23T00:10:00.000-05:00

Six Flags Opens New Obama-Themed Roller Coaster

2010-12-21T00:10:00.000-05:00

Baltimore, Maryland--With the economy tanking and a record one in six Americans taking part in various government anti-poverty programs, the Six Flags amusement park announced the opening of it's latest roller coaster.

"It's called the Obamarator," said a park spokeswoman, who said it consists of a winding but ever low-spiraling ride in cars fitted with video screens showing the latest economic indicators.

"With the latest data showing Medicaid enrollment at record highs even before 16 million people are added by the ObamaCare law in 2014, a 50% rise in food stamp participants, a 400% increase in those receiving unemployment insurance, and an 18% increase in the welfare rolls," said the spokeswoman, "we didn't have to do much more to make this one of the most frightening Six Flags coasters ever."

One man who rode on the coaster's maiden run said "After the very first turn -- where you see that Medicaid costs have jumped 36% in two years to $273 billion, jobless benefits soared from $43 billion to $160 billion, and food stamp and welfare costs have risen 80% and 24% -- I almost lost my lunch."

Associated articles: USA Today; New York Daily News

First Prize at Local Science Fair Goes to Student with Global Warming Display Behind Black Curtain

2010-12-20T00:10:00.003-05:00

Derbyville, New York--Junior high school student Cody Burroughs won first place in the local science fair for his alleged display of the science proving human-caused global warming, which remained hidden behind a thick black curtain.

"The conclusions Cody came to so confirmed the prevailing consensus that we found it unnecessary to look behind the curtain," said one of the judges.

Other judges said they were impressed by Cody's assiduous deletion of any emails in his possession that would have cast doubt on the validity of the claims he made, and his encouragement of classmates to ignore any student who offered evidence to rebut his theories.

The judges said that in evaluating the science fair projects, they used the same criteria applied by the "Independent Climate Change Email Review," which papered over the recent Climategate scandal.

Associated articles: Wall Street Journal; Washington Times; London Telegraph; Times of Higher Education; Watts Up With That; Wall Street Journal 1

Santa Asks Kids to Give Back This Year

2010-12-16T00:10:00.003-05:00

Washington, D.C.--Children around the country were surprised last night to see Santa Claus deliver an unprecedented prime time television address in which he asked the nation's youth to "give back this year" by contributing what they could to their $40,000 share of the massive national debt.

"I know these are tough economic times," said Santa, "but this year, there are over 6,000 earmarks in the Democratic Congress' spending bill, and the John Murtha Foundation and the Edward M. Kennedy Institute alone need $18 million from your collective allowances."

Santa closed his remarks by explaining to the nation's children that he "had to give out over $800 billion in gifts to the public sector at the beginning of the year," so he was looking to children everywhere to finally "pay up."

Associated article: Wall Street Journal

Headlines

2010-12-15T00:10:00.001-05:00

Associated articles: Associated Press; Wall Street Journal

No Labels Groups Unveils New Clothing Label

2010-12-14T06:00:00.000-05:00

Washington, D.C.--The group "No Labels" -- led by a group of former politicians who lost reelection and a host of largely uninfluential political commentators -- unveiled a new clothing line to garner attention for its mission of removing intellectual consistency from political discourse.

"By hyping the often trivial common ground between those who believe government must enforce its vision of justice and those who believe personal fulfillment is best achieved through individual responsibility and the voluntary interaction of free people," said a No Labels spokesperson, "we hope to foster a self-righteous sense of civility designed to suppress exposure of the contradictions that inevitably underlie attempts to compromise on fundamental issues."

Founded on the principle that "defending principle is indefensible," the No Labels clothing line aims at making "totally vapid totally cool."

Associated article: Slate

Obama Defends His Divinity Against Church and State Challenge

2010-12-14T00:10:00.000-05:00

Washington, D.C.--President Obama defended his divinity before the Supreme Court yesterday, arguing personally that his holy status did not violate any constitutionally required separation between church and state.

"The First Amendment prohibits the government from establishing a religion," Obama told the Justices. "But I didn't establish my divinity as President. Rather, my divinity was created by free citizens who decided on their own to join my cult following."

Several of the conservative justices seemed to agree with Obama, with one pointing out that "The intercession of free choice by individuals would seem to negate any claim of government-imposed religion."

Obama divided his time for oral argument with the Solicitor General, who began his presentation in defense of Obama's constitutionality by saying "May it please the Court, and His Divine Holiness Obama, Whose Infinite Wisdom and Mercy Is the Beginning and the End of All That Is Just and Good."

Associated articles: Victor Davis Hanson; Wall Street Journal; Weekly Standard

Obama Assures Nation: "I Come in Peace"

2010-12-10T00:10:00.000-05:00

Washington, D.C.--In a prime time television address that rivited the nation, President Barack Obama sought to assure tremulous Americans who generally consider him distant and detached that "I come in peace."

Obama delivered the address inside what White House officials called "The Oval Saucer," pausing frequently to extend his hand toward the camera in a reassuring manner. "You have nothing to fear," said Obama, his voice echoing with every syllable.

Many Americans expressed relief following the address, especially from Obama's assurances that "We will depart as soon as our egos are fed." But others remained concerned by Obama's remarks that "your civilization will be protected by layers of bureaucracy that will preserve your species for generations to come."

Still others were unnerved by Obama's use of the royal "we," but an administration spokesperson made clear that such a linguistic formulation "referred only to the collective consciousness of the larger White House," and that "in any case our data indicate your kind can safely withstand at least six more years of preparatory incubation."

Associated articles: London Telegraph; Investors Business Daily

Obama: "Read My Busted Lip: No New Taxes on the Rich"

2010-12-07T00:05:00.000-05:00

Associated article: ABC News

Santa Gives Nation the Gift of Coal After Defeat of Democrats' Cap and Tax Plans

2010-12-06T00:10:00.003-05:00

Everywhere, USA--After the Democrats suffered historic defeats at the polls last November, Santa Claus announced all Americans would be getting "the gift of precious coal" as it became clear plans for draconian energy taxes would be scrapped.

Back in 2008, then-candidate for Presient Barack Obama said of his energy policies: "If somebody wants to build a coal-powered plant, they can; it's just that it will bankrupt them because they're going to be charged a huge sum for all that greenhouse gas that's being emitted."

"But coal provides usable energy at much less than a quarter of the cost of either oil or natural gas," said Santa, "and 50 percent of the energy produced in the United States comes from coal. I'm pleased to say that the American voters were very good this year because they rejected candidates who wanted to dramatically increase their energy costs in return for relatively few demonstrable benefits."

Judge Orders Christmas Depictions of Jesus Replaced with Doc Holliday

2010-12-03T00:10:00.004-05:00

Lubberville, Oregon--A federal judge in Oregon has ordered a local town to replace its Christmas depictions of Jesus Christ with the "less offensive" image of legendary bar owner, gambler, and gunslinger Doc Holliday.

Although title 5, Section 6103 of the United States Code specifically declares "Christmas" a "legal public" day of celebration, Judge Lewis Tunnick held that celebrating a "Holliday" rather than Christmas' namesake was "more appropriate" in that it singled out for recognition "a popular secular lawman" instead of a "religious figure."

Guy Who Elbowed President Obama During Basketball Game Awarded Medal of Freedom

2010-12-02T00:10:00.002-05:00

Washington, D.C.--The person who recently elbowed President Obama during a White House basketball game was awarded the Medal of Freedom yesterday for his role in exposing the President to the real-world conditions of competition.

"After having been surrounded by sycophants and coddlers my entire adult life, who praised me endlessly when I had in fact accomplished very little, I found myself elbowed in the face during a competitive basketball game, requiring a dozen stitches," said Obama during the ceremony. "For introducing me to a world in which competition can result in adverse experiences that people can learn from, I hereby award the guy who elbowed me in the face the Medal of Freedom."

Upon receiving the award, the guy who elbowed President Obama in the face said "It was my pleasure to expose the President to the world most of us live in every day, and help demonstrate that government cannot always be relied on to prevent personal misfortune in the give-and-take of everyday life."

Associated article: Associated Press

Headlines

2010-12-01T00:10:00.000-05:00

In Compromise Offer to Republicans, Obama Agrees to Support Only 1,500-Page Bills That Control an Additional 7% of Economy

2010-11-30T00:10:00.002-05:00

Washington, D.C.--In what White House officials called "an unprecedented gesture of good will and in a spirit of compromise," President Obama said at a bipartisan meeting on Capitol Hill today that he would limit his support to bills that are 1,500 pages long and control only an additional 7% of the U.S. economy.

"Some are complaining because legislation I signed into law ran into the many thousands of pages and controlled an additional tenth of the national's privately-held resources," said Obama. "I'm willing to look beyond the past, and push forward with policies that grow the government by one-seventh at a time."

Associated article: Fox News

What Do YOU Think?

2010-11-29T00:10:00.000-05:00

Costs of Lack of Interest Projected to Swamp Costs of Interest on National Debt in Coming Years

2010-11-26T00:10:00.000-05:00

Associated article: Mercatus Center

Obama to Embark on National Listening Tour; President Plans to Plug Ears and Hum National Anthem in All 50 States

2010-11-24T00:10:00.000-05:00

Washington, D.C.--Following the last election's massive turnout of voters intent on electing representatives who will help restore traditional Americans values and oppose central parts of President Obama's agenda, the White House announced today that Obama plans a national listening tour in which he will visit all 50 states while plugging his ears and humming the national anthem.

"The president will demonstrate his deep patriotism by traveling cross-sections of the country, standing in large audiences, and then filling his head with the sonorous sounds of the Star-Spangled Banner," said a White House spokesperson. "And in the event people in the crowds prove at all distracting, the president stands ready to order the firing of cannons during the anthem's crescendo."

Turkey Pardons Obama

2010-11-23T00:10:00.000-05:00

Lost Dog

2010-11-22T00:05:00.000-05:00

Associated articles: Washington Post; The New Republic

Congress Requires 20% Gratuity for Taxpayers of Eight or More

2010-11-19T00:10:00.002-05:00

Washington, D.C.--President Obama signed federal legislation yesterday, passed by the lame duck Democrat-controlled Congress, that requires a 20% gratuity from taxpayers of eight or more.

The Obama Administration and the Democrat-controlled Congress have long expressed its frustration that Americans have been insufficiently grateful for the massive new government programs they recently enacted, but this is the first time the law has been codified to correct that perceived inadequacy.

At the signing ceremony, Obama said "It's just not fair that subjective assessments of the government's performance can leave millions of federal bureaucrats without the compensation they deserve for their service."

Congressional Democrats said the gratuity mandate was necessary because "in a country of over 300 million people, it's just too hard for citizens in large groups to avoid their fiscal responsibility."

Attorney General Convicted of Prosecuting Terrorists in Federal Court

2010-11-17T22:15:00.001-05:00

Associated articles: Reuters; Weekly Standard

Headlines

2010-11-17T00:10:00.000-05:00

Work Begins on "Mount Rush More" to Honor American Political Leaders Who Rammed Through Massive Legislation

2010-11-16T00:10:00.000-05:00

Classic Remakes

2010-11-10T00:10:00.000-05:00

Associated articles: Washington Post; Washington Times

Advisers Recommend Obama Scale Back Efforts to Teach Young People Personal Irresponsibility, Saying President Should "Focus on Smoking for Now"

2010-11-09T00:10:00.004-05:00

Washington, D.C.--Worried that the President has spread himself too thin by encouraging people, especially young people, to act irresponsibly by promoting government handouts in such diverse fields as car ownership, school loans, and home ownership, top White House advisers are strongly encouraging Obama to scale back his efforts "and limit his focus for the moment to smoking."

"Smoking helps the President relax despite well-known negative consequences," said one administration official. "We think he should stick to that example for our nation's youth, rather than trying to tackle too many drunken-sailor programs at once."

Administration officials said the President could always return to promoting his many other personal irresponsibility programs, but that for now, with dropping poll numbers, "he needs to stop overextending himself and take things one step at a time."

Election 2010: Won One for the Sipper

2010-11-06T12:10:00.000-04:00

Election Condolence Card

2010-11-05T00:05:00.000-04:00

The Joker's Latest Scheme (click image to enlarge)

2010-11-04T21:00:00.000-04:00

Associated article: CNBC

Post-Election Headlines

2010-11-04T00:10:00.000-04:00

Headlines

2010-11-03T17:30:00.000-04:00

Obama Tours Destruction of Own Party Left in Wake of Radical Administration

2010-11-03T00:10:00.002-04:00

Washington, D.C.--President Obama toured the devastation on Capitol Hill today as his party suffered huge losses following enactment of his policies favoring massive federal public sector spending, government takeovers of health care, housing, and student loans, and his endless demonization of business owners.

Touring the now somber halls of Congress, Obama was escorted by members of the National Guard as he strode between the now-empty seats on the Democratic side of the aisle.

"What happened here was a personal tragedy," said Obama. "I've summoned the full resources of the federal government to double-down yet again on my federal-spending response to the mindless tides of voter insubordination I blame for sweeping so many of my minions from office."

Associated articles: Wall Street Journal; Hotline

Election Day: Time to Choose

2010-11-02T00:10:00.000-04:00

New Democrat Public Service Ad

2010-11-01T00:10:00.007-04:00

Associated articles: National Review; AEI

Harry Reid's Flying Circus

2010-10-30T00:40:00.000-04:00

Pelosi Twilight Zone (Bipartisanship Episode)

2010-10-30T00:30:00.000-04:00

Interview with Head of the National Endowment for the Arts

2010-10-30T00:20:00.000-04:00

DJ POTUS -- "Let Me Be Clear"

2010-10-30T00:10:00.001-04:00

Happy Halloween!

2010-10-29T00:10:00.003-04:00

Unions to Organize Huge Nov. 2 Tea Party Rally in Guam

2010-10-29T00:05:00.000-04:00

Guam, Western Pacific Ocean--The Service Employees International Union announced today it was organizing a huge Tea Party rally for election day, November 2, on the far-away U.S. island territory of Guam.

"The southernmost portion of the Mariana Islands will provide a breathtaking setting for a celebration of tea party values on election day," said a union spokesperson. "Our alliance of unions will also provide one-way transportation to the island the day before the the next federal election."

Headlines

2010-10-28T00:10:00.000-04:00

Congressman Found to Have Directed Thousands of Patronizing Comments to Constituents

2010-10-27T00:05:00.000-04:00

Washington, D.C.--Multiple media sources confirmed that Congressman Jim Rothswig of New Jersey has, over several years, directed thousands of patronizing comments to his own constituents.

Rep. Rothswig denied the allegations, saying "Those simple-minded, gun-toting, Bible-hugging religious rubes in my district will believe anything they hear on Rush Limbaugh."

Headlines

2010-10-26T00:10:00.000-04:00

U.S. Citizen Seeks Asylum in a U.S. Governed by Constitutional Principles

2010-10-25T00:10:00.002-04:00

Morgantown, Pennsylvania--U.S. citizen Jerry Winkler recently reported to a federal immigration office and requested asylum into a "U.S. governed by constitutional principles."

Citing various constitutional provisions including the limited, enumerated powers of Congress set out in Article I of the Constitution, Winkler argued he fears for his individual rights in a nation that appears to have dramatically shifted from its constitutional foundations.

"I thought he was nuts," said one immigration official. "But he came in with a copy of the U.S. Constitution -- which I had never read before -- and after reading it I thought he made a legitimate case. Unfortunately, I checked the records and the U.S. that exists today is the only one we have, and you can't be a refugee from your own country."

"The immigration official told me the only place I could seek relief was the voting booth in November," said Winkler. "So I'm going to give that a shot."

Obama Blames Foreign Influence, Kumquats, for Tinfoil Hat

2010-10-22T07:00:00.002-04:00

Associated articles: Wall Street Journal; Wall Street Journal 1

Headlines

2010-10-22T00:10:00.000-04:00

Government Bureaucrats Caught Watching Spending Porn at Work

2010-10-21T00:10:00.003-04:00

Washington, D.C.--Now that the federal government has run an over $1 trillion deficit for an unprecedented second straight year, an inspector general investigation has revealed that thousands of federal bureaucrats watch "spending porn" on a daily basis, viewing hundreds of thousands of hours of disgusting displays of the waste of taxpayer dollars, and even images of burning money.

"What they've been doing at the office is vile," said one investigator. "Many of these government employees spend most of their time at work watching C-Span and MSNBC, which cater to people with prurient interests in watching taxpayer dollars get flushed down toilets, stuffed down rat holes, and spent on all sorts of boondoggle projects."

One authority said "It's hard to figure anyone could get off on this stuff, but it must have something to do with feelings of power while watching the public's money subjugated and degraded in all sorts of disturbing ways."

Associated articles: Washington Post; The American; Heritage Foundation; USA Today

Infographic: How the First Lady and President Move Markets (click image to enlarge)

2010-10-20T00:10:00.003-04:00

Associated articles:; US News; CBS News; Gallup; Reuters; CBS News 1

People Beginning to Cough Up Pieces of Big Government

2010-10-19T00:10:00.001-04:00

Washington, D.C.--In what researchers say is an ominous sign that the government has gotten "way too big," people are beginning to cough up huge chunks of big government.

"I was trying to eat breakfast," said one small business owner, "but then I suddenly felt a scratching in my throat, and before I knew it reams of IRS 1099 forms were spilling out of my mouth."

Experts say the ObamaCare law's requirement that small businesses file a separate 1099 form for every vendor they buy more than $600 of goods from is only "one small part of the government that has come to permeate all aspects of our lives" and that "without dramatic reductions in the government's paperwork emissions, this unhealthy trend is only going to get worse."

Associated article: CATO Institute

Obama Blames Republicans for "Sad Legacy of Bar Graphs"

2010-10-18T00:20:00.000-04:00

Government Psychologists Added to Obama’s Secret Service Detail

2010-10-18T00:10:00.004-04:00

Washington, D.C.--After giving speeches in which he claimed the large majority of the American electorate isn't able to "think clearly" because it's motivated by irrational "fear" -- saying Americans are "hardwired not to think clearly when we're scared" -- President Obama authorized the creation of a new unit of government psychologists inside the Secret Service.

"We're here to facilitate the president's projection of his inadequacies onto the population at large," said the chief of the new Presidential Projection Program. "We scan crowds for signs of dissatisfaction, and then act immediately to find a psychological disorder to explain that dissatisfaction away."

Associated articles: Charles Krauthammer; Politico

Politicians Caught Cheating on Voters

2010-10-15T00:10:00.002-04:00

Washington, D.C.--In a special series of "all Congress" episodes of the television show "Cheaters," hundreds of federal lawmakers were caught on tape cheating on their constituents.

"I should have known something was going on when my representative didn't show up for a town hall meeting," said one voter.

"I should have noticed he was spending taxpayer money on extraneous things like car companies," said another. "And that he wasn't spending as much time at work reading the bills he was voting on."

When one cheating Member was confronted, and asked why he did it, he said "Hey, when my constituents looked the other way for so long, I got a feeling of entitlement."

Another caught Senator said "My constituents were overly critical, and I didn't want to be associated with them any more."

At MTV Event, Obama Kisses Youth Vote While Kanye West Storms Stage and Insists Democrats Should Win in Upcoming Elections

2010-10-14T00:10:00.004-04:00

New York, New York--At an MTV-sponsored town hall meeting designed to woo young people suffering from widespread unemployment, President Obama engaged in a dramatic kiss with the youth vote while rapper Kanye West stormed the stage and insisted the Democrats should win in the upcoming elections.

"I thought the president was going to kiss the youth vote's ass," said one adoring fan, "but it was still thrilling to see him plant a wet one on that hipster kid's lips."

The young audience was also roused by Kanye's performance, in which he ranted "Yo Republicans and independents, I'm really happy for you, and I'll let you finish, but Obama's had the best presidency of all time!"

Associated article: Mediabistro

White House 10 Most Wanted List

2010-10-11T13:00:00.002-04:00

Associated article: New York Times; FactCheck

Stimulus Funds Used to Convert Baseball Stadiums to Colosseums

2010-10-06T00:10:00.000-04:00

New York, New York--Billions of dollars in federal stimulus funds will be used to convert baseball stadiums into colosseums in places with high unemployment in an effort to appease the restless masses. And Congress has threatened to remove the federal antitrust exemption for Major League Baseball unless players agree to fight much more aggressively.

"These are tough times," said Obama in announcing the giant colosseum project, "and it's only fair that professional baseball players sacrifice as well."

When administration officials were asked to explain the public purpose behind the new program, which accompanies higher taxes to support massive spending on salaries for corrupt government bureaucrats, they said only "When in Rome ..."

Associated article: Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire

Obama Tells Supporters to "Buck Up"

2010-10-04T00:10:00.001-04:00

Associated article: Slate

Democrats Counter Republican Agenda with Delicious Cupcakes

2010-10-01T00:10:00.002-04:00

Washington, D.C.--After House Republicans unveiled a public pledge to stop tax increases, lower taxes for small businesses, require congressional approval for regulations with large economic impacts, limit discretionary spending to pre-bailout, pre-stimulus levels, and then cap its growth, Democrats responded by offering an agenda "packed with delicious cupcakes smothered in creamy frosting."

After the Democrats adjourned Congress without performing its most basic function of approving a federal budget or deciding on whether to maintain current tax rates set to expire in January, House Speaker Pelosi said "This is no gimmick. These cupcakes are real, they are tasty, and they will be warm and ready for the American people to enjoy at the start of the next Congress."

Asked about Republicans' criticism regarding how the cupcakes would be paid for, Pelosi responded, "Only Republicans could object to cupcakes. Yummy cupcakes."

Associated article: National Review

Obama Runs Afoul of Anti-Stalking Laws

2010-09-30T00:10:00.006-04:00

Richmond, Virginia--President's Obama frantic "backyard tour" to sell his radical agenda in Albuquerque, Des Moines, and Richmond have run afoul of local anti-stalking laws, which threaten to limit the omnipresence of the president in domestic spaces nationwide.

"We received a large volume of calls," said a local police spokesperson following Obama's latest backyard event. "They said this guy seemed to be following them everywhere, on television, on the internet, and now on their back patios."

According to local police, "Most complaints came from people who said they voted for the guy once, but it didn't work out, and now they just want to be left alone."

"It's always the professorial, straight-laced guys that turn creepy," said one officer.

Associated articles: Washington Post; Fox; New York Times

Headlines

2010-09-29T00:10:00.000-04:00

Democrats Hire M. Night Shyamalan to Direct Pre-election Media Strategy

2010-09-28T00:10:00.002-04:00

Washington, D.C.--Congressional Democrats have hired screenwriter M. Night Shyamalan -- known for his quirky films that include often too-whacked-by-half twist endings -- to direct their final, pre-election media strategy.

"We're very excited to have M. Night Shyamalan on board," said Democratic House Speaker Nancy Pelosi. "The American people already know what we've done to the country. But many people don't yet know that the unprecedented amounts of taxpayer money we've been spending is going to feed a voracious supernatural deity which, if left unfed, would have feasted on the souls of children."

Democratic officials reacted with relief to the announcement that Shyamalan would be leading their communications efforts.

"So far, the massive stimulus projects we passed seem to have been a near-total waste," said one Democratic National Committee spokesperson. "But now Shyamalan can help people see that we Democrats have actually been saving baby's souls while nobly protecting the American public from mass panic."

Officials close to Shyamalan were tight-lipped about the final details of his communications vision, but they assured reporters "This election will end with the realization that hard-earned taxpayer money had to be wasted to save the next generation, and that money isn't everything in the face of the ravenous jaws of a subterranean soul-sucking beast."

After Inviting Comedian Stephen Colbert to Testify on Immigration Policy, Democrats Announce New Hearing Schedule

2010-09-24T00:10:00.003-04:00

Associated article: Daily Caller

ACLU Objects to Observance of "Moment of Awkward Silence" at Obama Cabinet Meetings

2010-09-23T00:10:00.000-04:00

Washington, D.C.--The American Civil Liberties Union today announced it would challenge the observance of a "moment of awkward silence" during President Obama's cabinet meetings.

"We've become aware that not one, but several, moments of awkward silence have become a regular part of every Obama cabinet meeting," said an ACLU spokesperson. "We find that outrageous and an affront to our understanding of the Constitution. The president shouldn't be ashamed of his far-left agenda or its abysmal results."

According to the ACLU, "Whether it's the president's broken promises on closing the Guantanamo Bay detention facility or trials for terrorists in federal court -- or his administration's failure to implement a rational plan for economic growth -- Obama's articulated agenda should be met with rote acceptance by leftist ideologues, not awkward pauses."

A White House spokesperson dismissed those concerns, saying that recent cabinet meetings have been marked only by several "fleeting moments of passing clarity."

Obama Tells Bob Woodward the U.S. "Can Absorb a Terrorist Attack"

2010-09-22T07:15:00.000-04:00

Associated article: Washington Post

New Items for Sale at Democrats' Online Store

2010-09-21T00:10:00.000-04:00

McDonald's Sponsors Super-Sized Constitution Exhibit at National Archives

2010-09-17T00:10:00.001-04:00

Washington, D.C.--Junk food giant McDonald's is sponsoring an exhibit on the "Super-Sized Constitution" at the National Archives which will feature the much-bloated version of the Constitution imagined by supporters of an equally super-sized national government.

"Now that it's accepted by political elites that the nation's founding document is larded up with all sorts of extra-constitutional powers for federal authorities," said a McDonald's spokesperson, "we thought it was time to help fund a display highlighting all the extra crap the ruling class demands be glommed onto the Supreme Law of the Land."

Some of those highlights include the federal government's control of segments of the auto industry, the financial services industry, home loan policies, college payments, and the entire health care industry.

"Federal legislators and lifetime-tenured judges have long relied on the super-sized Constitution to justify their imposition of their own policy preferences on the American people," said an Archives official. "We're pleased McDonald's is sponsoring this exhibit so the nation's citizens can finally see the Constitution as it's perceived by their political overlords."

Democrats Unveil New Logo and Merchandise

2010-09-16T00:15:00.001-04:00

Associated merchandise: Democrats

Democrats Hint Kittens at Risk in Lame Duck Session

2010-09-15T00:10:00.000-04:00

Washington, D.C.--To help increase their chances of maintaining their majority, Democrats in Congress are hinting they may adopt a radical new kitten policy during the lame duck session unless things go their way in the November elections.

"We're just not ruling anything out," said one Democratic aide. "In these tough economic times, we all have to sacrifice something."

Political analysts said that while Democrats have proven themselves capable of passing laws over overwhelming popular opposition, they doubted the Democrats' latest threat would ever be implemented, in part because activists groups like the now-dissolved ACORN have already registered thousands of kittens to vote.

Obama Revamps Campaign Slogan Amidst Sagging Hopes

2010-09-15T00:05:00.000-04:00

It's a Tax! (Obama vs. Admiral Ackbar)

2010-09-14T00:10:00.003-04:00

President Obama Sports New Look to Regain Popular Appeal

2010-09-13T07:00:00.000-04:00

Associated articles: Politico; Daily Beast

Obama Assures Nation "The Only Thing We Have to Be Ashamed of Is Shame Itself"

2010-09-13T00:10:00.001-04:00

Washington, D.C.--President Obama took the opportunity yesterday to take some liberties with the First Inaugural Address of former President Franklin Delano Roosevelt, and to assure an anxious nation.

What follows are excerpts from that address.

Fellow Americans, I want to address you with the candor the present situation of our people impels. This is preeminently the time to speak the truth, the whole truth, frankly and boldly. Nor need we shrink from honestly facing conditions in our country today.

So, first of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to be ashamed of is shame itself – unreasoning, unjustified shame which paralyzes needed efforts to convert personal responsibility into acquiescent succor. In every dark hour of our national life an imposition of government programs has met with that understanding and support of the people themselves which is essential to national dependence.

In such a spirit on my part and on yours we face our common difficulties, which concern, not only issues of economics, but also issues of character. Happiness lies in the joy of relinquishing thrift, in the abandonment of accepting subservience to government largess. These dark days will be worth all they cost us if they teach us that our true destiny is not to be minister to ourselves but to be ministered to.

We must recognize the falsity of personal fulfillment as the standard of success. Our greatest primary task is to extend unemployment benefits, not to create jobs. This is no unsolvable problem if we look confidently away from future consequences.

It is to be hoped that the normal balance of democratic consent and executive and legislative authority may be wholly adequate to meet the task before us. But it may be that an unprecedented demand and need for undelayed action may call for a temporary departure from that normal balance of public procedure.

I have not failed. A failure of followership has befallen those who resists a mandate of perpetual dependence. Voters taking a leap of faith have made me the present instrument of their wishes. In the spirit of the gift I take it.

Thank you.

Associated article: George Will

Supreme Court Justices Call Police on Raucous White House Party: "We're Trying to Get Some Work Done Over Here!"

2010-09-10T00:10:00.000-04:00

Washington, D.C.--Police narrowly averted a constitutional crisis last night by shutting down the latest of many parties at the White House after U.S. Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia called and complained "We can't get any work done with all that racket!"

Scalia and other justices said that after a Super Bowl shindig, several lawn parties, music concerts, and conga lines, "enough was enough."

"They have the gall to commit all manner of constitutional violations," said Justice Alito, "and then on top of that they carry on with raucous celebrations well into the night so we can barely hear ourselves think, let alone write opinions describing all their constitutional infractions."

Administration officials poo-poohed the Justices as "cranky old men," saying "They wouldn't have such a sour attitude if they believed in living a little -- and in a living Constitution that changes with political trends."

Associated article: New York Post

ObamaCare's Bending of Cost Curve Upward Attributed to "A Great Disturbance in the Force"

2010-09-10T00:05:00.000-04:00

Associated article: Wall Street Journal

Op-Toons

James Madison Monsters of Liberty Tour T-Shirt Design (front and back)

Obama Announces Plan to Guarantee All Americans "A Place to Put Your Head in the Sand"

Obama Orders Air Strike on His Old War Powers Statements

Obama Declines to Reveal Plot of His Presidency at News Conference

Headlines

Groupon to Sue On (click image to enlarge)

Obama to Deliver Major Speech on White Guilt

National Endowment for the Arts Funds Artists Whose Art is Convincing Other People That What They Do Is Art

Obama Paper Tiger Doll

Obama's Latest Shared Facebook Photo

Authorities Nab Notorious Youth Soccer Gang After 3-0 Victory Leaves Seven with Hurt Feelings

Obama Inspires Nation to Find "Bold New Ways to Do the Math"

Jerry Brown Checks State of California Into Rehab

Obama Resorts to Air Guitar

TV Guide

Local Man Picketed for Reading Newspaper Article on Unflattering Race Statistics

Headlines

EPA Regulates Vegetarians as Their Methane Emissions Rival Those of Cows

Latest Communications Rage "Twit" Limits Conversations to Four Characters or Less

Democrats Demand Stronger Microphone Control Laws and Shorter Audio Feeds Following Shooting Tragedy

Authorities Uncover Supreme Court Fetish Club

White House Spokesman Spins Out of Control, Lands in Press Pool, Injuring Seven

Congressman Introduces Bill Based on Posts in Comments Sections of Huffington Post Site

Man in Obama T-Shirt Robs Bank Unnoticed

Very Short Story: The Three "I's"

Bad Nanny-State Ideas Traced to Ban on Incandescent Lightbulbs

Early American Custody Agreement Puts Paternity of Founding Fathers in Doubt

Contemporary Urban Graffiti

Six Flags Opens New Obama-Themed Roller Coaster

First Prize at Local Science Fair Goes to Student with Global Warming Display Behind Black Curtain

Santa Asks Kids to Give Back This Year

Headlines

No Labels Groups Unveils New Clothing Label

Obama Defends His Divinity Against Church and State Challenge

Obama Assures Nation: "I Come in Peace"

Obama: "Read My Busted Lip: No New Taxes on the Rich"

Santa Gives Nation the Gift of Coal After Defeat of Democrats' Cap and Tax Plans

Judge Orders Christmas Depictions of Jesus Replaced with Doc Holliday

Guy Who Elbowed President Obama During Basketball Game Awarded Medal of Freedom

Headlines

In Compromise Offer to Republicans, Obama Agrees to Support Only 1,500-Page Bills That Control an Additional 7% of Economy

What Do YOU Think?

Costs of Lack of Interest Projected to Swamp Costs of Interest on National Debt in Coming Years

Obama to Embark on National Listening Tour; President Plans to Plug Ears and Hum National Anthem in All 50 States

Turkey Pardons Obama

Lost Dog

Congress Requires 20% Gratuity for Taxpayers of Eight or More

Attorney General Convicted of Prosecuting Terrorists in Federal Court

Headlines

Work Begins on "Mount Rush More" to Honor American Political Leaders Who Rammed Through Massive Legislation

Classic Remakes

Advisers Recommend Obama Scale Back Efforts to Teach Young People Personal Irresponsibility, Saying President Should "Focus on Smoking for Now"

Election 2010: Won One for the Sipper

Election Condolence Card

The Joker's Latest Scheme (click image to enlarge)

Post-Election Headlines

More Post-Election Headlines

Headlines

Obama Tours Destruction of Own Party Left in Wake of Radical Administration

Election Day: Time to Choose

New Democrat Public Service Ad

Harry Reid's Flying Circus

Pelosi Twilight Zone (Bipartisanship Episode)

Interview with Head of the National Endowment for the Arts

DJ POTUS -- "Let Me Be Clear"

Happy Halloween!

Unions to Organize Huge Nov. 2 Tea Party Rally in Guam

Headlines

Congressman Found to Have Directed Thousands of Patronizing Comments to Constituents

Headlines

U.S. Citizen Seeks Asylum in a U.S. Governed by Constitutional Principles

Obama Blames Foreign Influence, Kumquats, for Tinfoil Hat

Headlines

Government Bureaucrats Caught Watching Spending Porn at Work

Infographic: How the First Lady and President Move Markets (click image to enlarge)

People Beginning to Cough Up Pieces of Big Government

Obama Blames Republicans for "Sad Legacy of Bar Graphs"

Government Psychologists Added to Obama’s Secret Service Detail

Politicians Caught Cheating on Voters